Most IVF doctors in India are quite paternalistic, and they get put off when patients ask questions. They feel that patients are challenging their authority and that the job of a patient is to leave everything in the doctor's hands because the doctor is an expert medical professional, and having slogged for so many years, knows exactly what to do! They believe the patient doesn't need to apply their head and should allow the doctor to make all the decisions because he will do exactly what's right for the patient. Now this might be true in a perfect world, but the reality of course is completely different.
Now it's not as if all doctors are crooks or cheats, but the truth is that doctors are not mind readers, and don't know what a patient's personal preferences are. This is especially true in IVF treatment because patients have so many different choices! Should they use their own eggs or donor eggs? How many embryos should they transfer? How many cycles should they attempt? Doctors may know the answers quoted in medical textbooks, but the patient needs to own this decision because it’s her life.
Most doctors don't want to take the trouble to educate their patients, because this is time-consuming, and they often get fed up answering the same questions repeatedly. Also, they'd much rather see new patients, because new patients generate more income!
On the other hand, I enjoy treating these intelligent, educated patients who've done their homework and have a list of questions they want me to answer. This keeps me on my toes, and every once in a while, a patient will ask me a question no one has asked me before. My answer allows me to create a new page on my website at www.drmalpani.com so that others can learn from my insights.
This is becoming increasingly infrequent, because over 35 years, I've answered most patients' questions and shared the answers on the website, so it's very unlikely that someone will ask me something I haven't answered. This is why I request patients - please go to the website first, and if your question isn't answered there, then please ask me. I am happy to answer questions free by email because this allows me to share my expertise with thousands of infertile patients.
My patient’s questions also help me to be more empathetic. They allow me to understand what patients are thinking, so I can be more compassionate. Also, many patients will often do their own research, and sometimes they will come up with answers that I may not agree with. I then have to explain to them why what I'm suggesting is right, and why the opposite viewpoint is wrong, and this is always an interesting exercise.
Finally, these well-informed patients are the ones who have realistic expectations. They understand what is in their hands, what is in their hands, and finally, what's in God's hands. They appreciate our process, our transparency, and the fact that we take so much time and trouble over each patient, and try to customize exactly what we're doing for each couple. We work hard, and we prefer patients who appreciate the efforts we are investing in their treatment, as compared to other patients who just take everything we do for granted, because they don’t have a clue about IVF treatment.
The final outcome of an IVF cycle is not in anyone's hands. Still, we prefer treating patients who appreciate the fact that we're following the right processes for them, because these patients are our best brand ambassadors, and are happy to refer their friends to us because they know we provide high-quality care!
Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Please subscribe to our newsletter to remain updated about IVF.
