Patient: Dr. Malpani, I've been reading a lot about infertility, and one term that keeps coming up is "sexless marriage." What exactly does that mean?
Dr. Malpani: That's a great question. Surprisingly, one of the common problems we see today is what's often called the "sexless marriage." Now, this isn't infertility in the traditional sense because, medically, infertility is defined as a couple who has been trying to have a baby through regular, unprotected intercourse for at least a year without success.
Patient: So, these couples aren't technically infertile?
Dr. Malpani: Exactly. They're not infertile per se, but they are childless, and this is more of a social issue. We call this "social infertility" or "social childlessness." These couples are often so busy with their careers and daily responsibilities that they simply don't have the time to be intimate with each other.
Patient: That sounds stressful. But isn’t sex a basic part of marriage?
Dr. Malpani: It is, but modern life can complicate things. For instance, one partner might be a high-powered consultant, constantly travelling for work, while the other is equally busy. They might only see each other on weekends, and when they do, they're exhausted, focussing on household chores. As a result, many of these couples have little to no time or energy for sex.
Patient: That must lead to a lot of frustration. Does this affect their desire as well?
Dr. Malpani: Absolutely. Some couples end up with zero libido due to the stress and fatigue. The constant pressure of balancing work and personal life can lead to sexual difficulties, like erectile dysfunction or vaginismus. It's quite ironic—they work hard to build a successful professional life, but the personal price they pay is the inability to have a baby because their marriage has become sexless.
Patient: So what happens next? Do they come to you for IVF?
Dr. Malpani: Yes, many of these couples eventually turn to IVF as a solution. The good news is that there's a simpler option called self-insemination. It's a process they can try in their bedroom without the need for invasive medical procedures. However, this should be a last resort. Ideally, it's much more fulfilling to have a baby the natural way.
Patient: It seems like the root of the problem is lifestyle. What would you recommend?
Dr. Malpani: You're absolutely right. Lifestyle plays a huge role. My advice to couples in this situation is to take a step back and reevaluate their priorities. It's crucial to make time for each other, reduce stress, and focus on the relationship. It's not just about creating a baby; it's about nurturing your marriage.
Patient: That makes a lot of sense. So, before considering medical options, it's about getting the basics, right?
Dr. Malpani: Exactly. It's about reconnecting with your partner and finding the joy in your relationship again. So, please get your priorities in order. Sometimes, all it takes is a little time and effort to reignite the spark.
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