Many IVF patients are very reluctant to get a second opinion, and I think there are multiple reasons for this.
For one thing, they believe that once they have found a doctor whom they feel they can trust, they don't see any need to verify his opinion. They believe that every doctor is as good as any other, and if they want their treatment to be successful, they should trust their doctor blindly and do whatever he suggests if they want to get pregnant.
However, this can be an extremely bad idea, especially if your doctor is not trustworthy! Part of the problem is patients are not sophisticated enough to be able to differentiate between a good doctor and a bad doctor. The only way of doing that is by actually educating and informing yourself about IVF treatment, and one of the most efficient ways of doing this is to get a second opinion, so that you get an alternative perspective on your medical situation, based on someone else's independent expertise. If the opinions are the same, this bolsters your confidence that you are on the right track!
However, patients don't do this because they are scared that if the opinion of the second doctor is different from the opinion of their own doctor, they will get confused, and they won’t be sure what to do next, or whom to trust. As a result, many prefer doing the wrong treatment, rather than taking the risk of getting confused because they are getting an alternative opinion from a different doctor.
The problem is that patients are often not able to think critically, and can’t differentiate between good doctors and bad doctors. They are not able to reconcile different opinions and often get paralyzed because they are not sure what to do. They feel it's better to just blindly believe whatever the doctor tells them to do, even though this can be extremely dangerous and foolhardy, especially when the doctor is not a good doctor, and unfortunately, the number of bad doctors is far greater than the number of good doctors.
Yes, it can be confusing when a second opinion differs, but it's still worthwhile to understand the pros and cons of both! Please don’t underestimate your own intelligence, and you should be confident enough to ask for an explanation and justification from whichever doctor you go to so that if there is a difference, you should ask them what their rationale is for suggesting a particular course of action, rather than just blindly following whatever one particular doctor tells you.
If you are lucky and you find a good doctor, this strategy may be okay, but if you end up in the clutches of a bad doctor, this can be an extremely expensive mistake. Patients need to be assertive, speak up, and express their personal preferences, but this does mean that you need to invest enough time and energy to understand your options! It’s worth doing this, because there is so much at stake!