Premature ejaculation is the most common male sexual problem and it’s a very distressing one at that. This is because a man who has it feels inferior and insecure. Most men who are infertile have poor self-esteem. They are already in a place where they feel inadequate as they are unable to get their wife pregnant. In addition to this, if they are unable to perform in the bedroom, it just compounds the situation.
Just as fertile men have sexual problems, infertile ones have them too- and premature ejaculation (PE) is the most common male sexual dysfunction. Most men use porn films as a scale to measure their sexual prowess and they feel that they should be able to maintain an erection for as long as those actors in porn movies are able to. The thing to keep in view here is that movies are always made after a lot of trick photography and editing; keeping that as a yardstick is the wrong thing to do as they are not the norm.
Interestingly, there is an evolutionary advantage to being a premature ejaculator; this seems to be synced-in with our genes. In the past, the men who could have sex quicker would also be the ones who would be able to get more women pregnant, faster; that are how they spread their genes far and wide.
So why does PE occur?
Premature Ejaculation is essentially a psychological problem; in most men it’s a carry-forward of behavior they have learned as a teenager. When you are masturbating in your bathroom, you don't really want to be caught by your parents, and that’s why you try to ejaculate as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, once you grow up, it’s extremely difficult to unlearn this behavior.
Some simple solutions
The silver lining is that PE doesn’t impact your fertility. As long as the sperm are being ejaculated inside the vagina, the speed at which you discharge doesn’t make any physiological difference at all. Of course, it’s very difficult to “cure” this problem, but there are a number of simple solutions that work:
- One of the first things you can do is attempt to have sex one more time after you have ejaculated. This ejaculation will typically be delayed and your erection will also last much longer
- It’s also a good idea to change your sexual technique. Once your wife gets her sexual release first, you won’t be that stressed any longer, to perform. You can also use Xylocaine, which is an anesthetic jelly that has to be applied locally; this helps prolong the time to ejaculation. Its effective, however it takes away the fun
- Using the Stop-Start or Squeeze technique to delay ejaculation is another technique you can learn
- Some men find that taking the SSRi group of antidepressants also helps
- There are several quacks who different remedies (online & in real
life as well) to "treat premature ejaculation. They take advantage of a
man's ignorance and inferiority complex – and you should beware of these.
It’s a fact that treating premature ejaculation can take time; however, if your main focus is to have a baby, it’s not very difficult to achieve as long as your sperm count is normal. Self-insemination is another treatment option
Not happy with the attention you are getting from your IVF clinic? Need more information? Please send me your medical details by filling in the form at www.drmalpani.com/free-second-opinion so that I can guide you!
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